Comment Moderation and Word Verification

When I first started this blog somehow spammers were able to get a ping or notice of some kind whenever I posted. Almost immediately I would get comments that appeared computer posted on everything from male enhancement to general spam products. I finally activated word verification because it was supposed to stop the computer generated spam comments. A live person would have to type in the word to post a comment.

That worked for the most part for quite a while. In the past few months it is not stopping almost daily inappropriate comments. For example, someone (appears to be the same person but with multiple addresses) has been leaving a comment on my October 2005 post on behavior medication. This comment was trying to sell pain and other meds of the type you would need a prescription for. I have deleted it over and over again.

Tonight the computer is beeping me with new mail for a comment on several posts. I logged into Blogger and had just deleted one when my email software beeped me for the same comment on a different post.

I am not a big fan of comment verification mostly because I am afraid I won't get to them quick enough to approve them. However, it is time to take that step. I hope my readers will bear with me.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan

Let's Talk - YahooGroups List

I have had a YahooGroups list for a while but haven't done much with it. As Parenting Your Complex Child gets out to more parents after its' release next month, this list seems a good place to talk to me and with other parents reading the book about your thoughts and questions.

The link to should take you to it and you can sign-up. If you don't have a YahooGroups membership it will ask you to create one. If you have problems subscribing email me and I will try to help.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
parentingyourcomplexchild@yahoogroups.com
www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com
www.lighthouseparents.com

Billy Ray's Day...Tuesday..2/28/06

It has been one of those busy days for us. After a minor meltdown because he couldn't find some clothes he was looking for, we started our day at Central Oregon Radiology for an ultrasound of Billy Ray's thyroid.

Then we went to one of his favorite restaurants in Bend, China Sun - a Chinese buffet. I haven't taken him there in months because of his newfound diabetes diagnosis. His favorite thing is the Chinese donuts and I worried it would send his blood sugar through the roof. However, his blood sugar has been very stable lately and Brice Stanley, his PA-C, has told us to give him an occasional treat.



It's almost time for tomorrow's blog so I am going to give you a few sights of Billy Ray's day instead of try for something profound which I don't have to share tonight.

Our friend and consultant, Keddie Wanless, joined us at the Chinese buffet and snapped these pictures. Then she suggested we take Billy Ray bowling which he thoroughly loved.



Billy Ray and Ron bowling. He bowled a 90 the first time and 102 the second. That's better than his Mom ever does.



















Go in there!!


















Yes!!



















Goodnight everyone and for our east coast friends, good morning.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com
www.lighthouseparents.com

Reflections On How Far We've Come

It is late and an I am in one of those reflective moods again. It has been weird week, not entirely because of Billy Ray's issues. Our family is going through the kind of thing all families experience at one time or another in their lives whether or not they have a special needs child. It just seems to have come all in one week this time.

I wanted to lighten up a bit for the blog today and pertend I was Lori Miller Fox. In looking through the massive picture and visual files for Billy Ray for a picture I had in mind, instead I found myself reflecting on the stages of our life together as mother and son.

Too often we get so stressed by the present we forgot the fun moments. Here are a couple of those memories from our life together.

This little picture of Billy Ray in his crib always brings me so much joy. There is another picture taken the first day of his adoptive placement before his haircut that shows the transformation he made in the first day he was home. It is too old and worn to scan for you.

At fifteen months he didn't walk and was evaluated at about 4 months developmentally. Two months later he was running as if trying to catch up on life.

One year my attorney and Billy Ray's best buddy, Doug Harrison bought Billy Ray this race track. He loved to play with that toy more than any toy he has ever had. It is fun for me to see him being all boy before the Autism became more severe following a series of seizures at 14 years old.

We also did Challenger Little League. If you have a change to get your child involved in that program or just to go see a game it's something you won't want to miss. Challenger teams are little leaguers with various disabilities including children in wheelchairs and developmentally disabled children. Buddies from the other teams are assigned to assistant each Challenger team member. It is always a tie game and just for fun. Many team members will run to third base instead of first and receive just as much applause. It gives the kids a great sense of accomplishment as well as a lot of fun. Here is Billy Ray the "catcher" .

It is hard to imagine the mature young man delivering Meals on Wheels with his support staff, Ron below is the same little guy in the crib above.

You really have a come a long way Baby and I am so glad you let me come along with you.

Until tomorrow,

Peggy Lou Morgan

www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com

www.lighthouseparents.com

Some People Who Have Helped Billy Ray So Much

I have been thinking a lot about Mary Kimsey the past few days. Mary taught the structured learning center program Billy Ray attended for kindergarten through second grade. I can still hear her saying "these kids are not a job to me they are my life" in that first meeting we had.

Watching Billy Ray take his tee shirt off the other night I realized at 23 years old he still does that task the way Mary taught him. Despite the medication reaction that changed Billy Ray so much later in his life, he has retained much of the wonderful training he received in Mary's classroom.

In the picture he is at the front of the class with Mary. Each of the students were called to the board to find their name and repeat their address. This simple activity has had a profound impact on the rest of his life.

There have been other teachers in his life who have made a difference. Some of them have already been shared with you in other posts.

Chone Fields was Billy Ray's teacher only a part of seventh grade but her creativity has made such a difference not only in Billy Ray's life but also by enabling me to believe things could be better for Billy Ray. The activities she developed for him and her ability to help him feel a real part of the whole school increased his self esteem to a point I didn't know possible. I used a lot of her activities and ideas in trying to restart Billy Ray following seizures he experienced with the medication reaction. I wish I had a picture of them to share with you.

Heidi Ostrom had a special relationship with Billy Ray from their first meeting. That is demonstrated in the eye contact in this picture. Billy Ray doesn't favor many people with this intense gaze.

Heidi would be the first to tell you the program we created for Billy Ray was not perfect. This is partly because we came to her school district following a traumatic period in his life and he was experiencing multiple health problems the bulk of the time in her program.

Due to the struggle that was necessary to create a program for Billy Ray, Heidi and I spent a lot of time together. Now that Billy Ray is out of school I consider her our friend. As friends do we have disagreed from time to time but we have grown by working through those disagreements. Billy Ray is better because of what I have learned working with Heidi.

It was Heidi who gave me the Amanda's Story video we talked about in Parents Who Make a Difference and brought Dan Hobbs into our life. The video done by Dan
helped me to see that a lot of what we were already doing made a real difference. Dan (pictured playing with Billy Ray) helped me to see that we needed to have fun with Billy Ray and that he could still have relationships with others but needed our help to establish them. Dan worked with Heidi and me to create relationships with the folks at Silver Falls School District Office where Billy Ray went to do activities several times a week. Some of those folks are still on Billy Ray's mind though we live three hours a way now.

We have talked before about Mr. Koger. Every white western shirt and western slacks are still named "Koger" and there is not a day that goes by that we don't hear about "my principal". This two years after he is out of school.


There were many people in that school district Billy Ray became very fond of. It would take far too much space to picture and mention all. He still talks of them everyday.

My husband, Larry, will shoot me for including this picture but it shows the difference in Billy Ray's life he has made. Being a city girl I have not always enjoyed Larry's need to be out of the city. Billy Ray has bloomed with it. He loved mini farming from the time we met Larry.

It is a little hard to see from the picture but they are riding in an older John Deere Gator we had in our prior property. Billy Ray loved to go for rides down the back hill and all over the property will Larry. From "Dadgert" Billy Ray learned to appreciate the outdoors and it is special for them to do together. I may prefer to be in city but Billy Ray and his stepfather bloom out of it.


Kevin Loyd and Billy Ray had a special bond from the start. Kevin is probably the only employee Billy Ray ever selected himself. Kevin was hired to help with some projects on the property not to work with Billy Ray initially. However, Billy Ray was immediately attracted to his personality and the outside activities.

While Billy Ray has had other support staff who have made a difference the relationship with Kevin was unique. I think that it was because like Larry, Kevin is most at home working outdoors. Like Larry his only experience was being a pretty good Dad to his own kids who did not experience special needs.

I changed the title of this post to "some" because there is no way I can write about everyone who has made a difference in Billy Ray's life.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com
www.lighthouseparents.com

More Interesting Reading

I wanted to tell you about a website I have recently discovered thanks to Charlie Fox at Special Ed Law Blog who gave me the link.

It is Special Needs Future Planning. The site belongs to Attorney Bryan Rubin, specializing in special needs families. Mr. Rubin understands what we experience well because his son, Mitch, 25 years old, experiences Autism and other special needs diagnosis. Whether you are in Illinois near Mr. Rubin or not I think you will find his site very informative.

I could identify with the following statement by Mr. Rubin so much with all that Billy Ray has been going through medically: “BUT... we wish, we pray that we live at least one day longer than our child, and that we will not have to place the "obligation" or "burden" upon others. We hope, we pray, that we will always "be there" for our child.”

We all hate to admit it but long to survive our son or daughter who experiences special needs. See Open Letter ot My Fellow Parents for the rest of the article.

While you are surfing the net you might take another look at Special Ed Law Blog if you haven’t been there in a while. Charlie and Lori Fox have expanded topics. It is a very helpful blog.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthouseparents.com/

With All This Technology - Why Can't We End Waiting

As I was sitting her working on two posts that I plan to post later this week I can hear Billy Ray going to the dryer with his support staff and the agitation because the clothes are not dry immediately.

It occurs to me that what we need in this world is immediate dryers. Parents have the same issues in some ways. Waiting to find out results from lab tests or to get the dreaded diagnosis is harder than bad news.

Last night my pastor, my husband and our friend, Dave were working on software which will enable us to share video of my presentations and basically talk to you from my website. Pastor did a sample file using video of the little girl who forgot the words from the National Anthem at the Portland Trailblazers game (you probably saw it all over the news a while ago). Here’s the file so you can see how the little video boxes will eventually be on our parenting site http://users.gobigwest.com/prcco/richlite/UPLOAD3/player.html and share our excitement at learning all this technology. Let me know how it comes across for you (is it clear).

As we look at this technology and I listen to Billy Ray’s difficulty with wait I am thinking. I wonder if we will have quick drying fabric and immediate dryers in my lifetime. Zap your clothes are dry.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthouseparents.com/

Not Well But Sure Are Better

I have been doing the summary document (with data from the daily journal) that I do when we are going to see Billy Ray's psychiatrist. The document is prepared to inform the doctor of changes and/or progress. It seems that it is just as beneficial for me to prepare it because of the encouragement it brings to see that things are improving.

Wanted to drop you a quick note early this morning since we have a busy day of appointments and I won't get to do a full scale blog. The picture is just one I like of Penny Lane listening intently to her "boy".

Yesterday Billy Ray saw Brice Stanley, his PA-C for a medical appointment. Brice told me that Dan, the lab technician showed him a picture and said he would buy lunch if Brice knew who it was. The picture was printed from the recent post Billy Ray and his clothes obsession. It was the one of Billy Ray sitting on the front step in a little suit when he was three years old (twenty years ago). Brice recognized him. I loved that story.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com
www.lighthouseparents.com

Happy New Year

Some of you have written me that you wish you had our snow so I am sending you a picture as our New Year's card to you. The little pointed ears to the right of the tree (before the half buried covered wagon) is a deer figure. It is so deep that you can't see much but ears. The sundial my mother gave me is on the far left. Not very needed at this point in the year.

I am reflecting on the last year while Billy Ray is taking an unexpected nap and I am trying to capitalize on it by getting laundry running, writing to you and working on a writing project to hopefully increase understanding for families with complex children.

This time last year was filled with excitement. We sold our house and my manuscript was accepted in a two day period in November. We moved to LaPine on December 20, 2004. Boxes filled the house and I was trying to finish the Parenting Your Complex Child (AMACOM Books, April 2006) for a March 15th deadline. We could have never anticipated then what this year would bring.

Billy Ray's health crisis this summer caught us totally off guard but we got through it and learned so much in the process. One of the things I learned is that each day Billy Ray is with us even the days he breaks special things or pulls my hair is special. There is nothing that brings that reality closer than nearly losing him. The other thing I learned is that you can count on your support system if you swallow your pride and let others help.

It has been exciting in terms of all the new contacts and friends I have made. I got to talk to Dr. Temple Grandin and laugh with Dr. Bernard Rimland both of which was a thrill beyond descriptions.

At the beginning of this year my literary agent, William Brown, suggested I do a blog. I didn't even know what a blog was. I was more than willing to try because his advice to do my website has brought opportunities to talk to folks all over the world about their complex children. True to form his advice has opened a thrilling experience to get acquainted by email and comments with many of you.

I just have to confess that I am a child at heart at Walmart. Thus, when we found that my book is already available for preorder through Walmart I was so excited. It was thrilling to see Amazon and Barnes and Noble adding it to their sites especially since I buy so many books at both sites every year. Don't know why I was so excited to see Walmart carrying it but I was.

Hope the new year brings steady progress for your complex child. You will note that I didn't stay big milestones. Savor each baby step as if it were giantic because it is.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com
www.lighthouse.com

Ten Random Things About Billy Ray

A few weeks ago I was "tagged" by Lora to tell Ten Random things about myself on my blog. I thought I would continue the tag by telling Ten Random Things about Billy Ray (written after a night of little sleep – sorry) and tagging Lora, Tina, Suzanne and Kiralea to share ten random things about their Autistic child or otherwise complex child.

1. Billy Ray will wake up several times during the night (even with sleep medications) and nap for long periods of time when his paid support staff is here and I can’t go back to bed.


2. He is most likely to request whatever food item I am out of and not accept that the store is closed at the moment.


3. His repetitive questions require the same answers even if the answer is illogical. For example, he has been asking me half the night of last night where Heidi. Heidi (director of special education at his old school district in Silverton, Oregon) was probably home sleeping (at least I hope so) but he had to be told she was in her office. In a sense, my son forces me to lie to him.


4. He has his own time clock. He can’t accept that appointments won’t wait, stores won’t stay open or church services keep singing until he gets whatever he wants dealt with at home.


5. He is going to be the most noisy when I’m on the phone. I can make calls when I think he is occupied with support staff. Somehow he knows and will come into my office drowning out the phone conversation.


6. He names his clothes. Just when we adjust to what item of clothing he is talking about he changes the name.


7. He is happiest wearing three ties (a tie with a lighthouse friends gave him, a blue clip on that he calls “Raymond’s tie” because it reminds him of his deceased Dad and a bolo western tie).


8. His favorite music is the “oldies” and the Bill Gaither Vocal Band (religious).


9. He can rearrange the sequence of his activities but if family or support staff change the sequence it doesn’t work.


10. He is only aggressive towards those he trusts.
11. Oops. I can't resist an 11th one -- he can melt his mother's resistence with his smile and he knows how to use.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthoueparents.com/

Ten Random Things About Me

I was tagged by Lora, My Beautiful Child Griffin & Autism, who was tagged by Christina, Mommy Guilt to tell ten random facts about herself. Here goes:

1. My favorite thing is to soak in a hot bathtub. Of course, you never know what time it will be because I to do it when support staff is here with Billy Ray or my husband is available. Sometimes it is 2 in the afternoon when I get in there.


2. This blog is usually written in my bathrobe with my morning coffee right after support staff arrives to be with Billy Ray.


3. I have a great mother-in-law.


4. I love lighthouses and angels. My house is full of them on rugs, dish towels, etc., etc.


5. I am such a kid at heart when I get email from exciting places like Australia and the London.


6. I hate Beef Barley soup.


7. I miss my longtime secretary, Linda, who was the only person who could find anything on my desk except me. (Of course, after she was there I couldn’t find anything on my desk.)


8. I love to walk in the storms on the beach. Maybe that is because I was born on the Oregon coast.


9. My grandmother had 13 children and I was the only one in her family who wanted that many. Now that I have Billy Ray, I’m glad I stopped at one.


10. I love tea parties with my granddaughters, Elora and Alena, when they visit.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthouseparents.com/

Our Children are like Snowflakes...Unique

Yesterday I was reading a blog I like (Susan Senator’s). Her post The Mythical Autism Beast (http://susansenator.com/blog/2005/12/mythical-autism-beast.html) caught my attention for a number of reasons. This post begins by quoting an article from The Boston Globe Sunday Magazine, 12/4/05 by Darshak Sanghavi, titled The Secret Truth.

Dr. Sanghavi’s comment “AUTISM FRIGHTENS PARENTS more than almost any disorder, since it implies that the child can never function independently in society and may never fully reciprocate, or ever fully appreciate, the expressions of love” which “got under my [Susan’s] skin also bothered me.

Any diagnosis is frightening if you don’t know what it means. For example, when Billy Ray was diagnosed with pediatric bipolar the psychiatrist provided me with literature which said that the diagnosis of pediatric bipolar was more undesirable than a diagnosis of cancer. I asked the pediatrician about that statement. She replied that pediatric bipolar will go on and on and treatment is more difficult. Cancer can be cured or will, unfortunately, end at some point. I think many parents may see the diagnosis of Autism similarly because there are so many unknowns.

Susan ends her post with “What we need is more honest and positive accounts of living with autism. Parents need facts that help them strategize and advocate for their kids, not horror stories and hopelessness. They need hugs and encouragement. Autism need not be a death sentence. Our children were not stolen; we just have to look a bit harder to see them.”

I couldn’t agree more. In prior posts herein, we have discussed that the best way parents can support each other is by being open about what we experience. Disabilities have been considered a stigma of sorts and just not talked about unless necessary. Parents are frightened by the diagnosis more because so little is known rather than the disease itself.

After reading Susan’s blog post and going to The Globe to order the article, there were other things that I want to comment about too.

The article by Dr. Sanghavi is basically about the vaccine-autism controversary. He profiles a family whose sons experience Autism, the beliefs they have established and the choices they have made in doing what is best for their sons.

In the same paragraph, that Susan quoted the first sentence (quoted above), Dr. Sanghavi writes: “Though portrayed in the public imagination by characters such as Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, autistic people are like snowflakes: No two are alike, and the clinical spectrum ranges from severe disability to near normalcy.” Absolutely!!

That is exactly why I wrote Parenting Your Complex Child (AMACOM Books April 2006). I devoured all the literature I could on Autism when Billy Ray first demonstrated symptoms and we finally got the diagnosis. Some books were helpful and some were not. Many told me what I should do for Billy Ray specifically. Those generally didn’t work for us. The ones that helped the most, such as Temple Grandin’s books and articles, told what she experienced. I could then glean information and apply it to help find out what worked for Billy Ray. My book recognizes that all disabled children are unique whether they have complex issues or not. It seemed more helpful to encourage parents in methods for determining what worked for their own child than to tell them what to do because it worked for my son.

Dr. Sanghavi is somewhat critical of the family for performing “their own clinical trials with a study population of two, or sometimes one.” That statement got under my skin more than the one that got to Susan Senator. As Dr. Sanghavi acknowledges there are not many larger studies to help doctors help parents. To make matters worse developmental disabilities are not taught extensively as a part of medical school. Parents must do their own investigation, sharing results with the doctor involved, of triggers, problem areas and what works for their own “snowflake”.

I don’t know where to come down on the vaccination and dietary issues. I highly respect the work done by Dr. Rimland and Autism Research Institute. I have devoured his materials and tried many of his suggestions. Again, complex children are unique. What works for one may not for another. The fact that they didn’t work for my son at the stage of his life when I learned of such things doesn’t mean they are not good suggestions for your child.

I agree with Susan that Autism is not a death sentence. It is a life changing experience. Nothing will be the same as we expected.

I was reminded of the article “Don’t Mourn for Us” by Jim Sinclair I read years ago and recently found again at http://www.autistics.us/library/dontmourn.html. Mr. Sinclair eloquently makes the point that when we grieve for our child who has Autism we are wishing that we had the child we hoped for (the perfect one that rarely exists) and want the Autistic one to go away. He states that without Autism the child would not be the same person as he is with Autism. According to Mr. Sinclair “Autism is a way of being. It is not possible to separate the person from the autism.”

See my recent post thanking Billy Ray’s birth parents where I compared his life to the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Our mission, should we chose to accept it, will change our outlook on everything about life. As we accept our child for who he is and help him do what works best for him including but not limited to medical care, educational and home programs, a quality of life happens that cannot be described fully.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan
http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthouseparents.com/

Thursday Morning..As We Are

I said in earlier posts that I was going to share our life with you. Most mornings I feel as if I need to somehow come across with something that will help educate and other mornings the soapbox calls me. This morning I am too tired to crawl up on the soapbox so will share our Thursday morning as we are.

It is supposed to be morning. The clock shows it is 7:45 a.m. and the sun is shining nicely. Somehow it feels more like 11 p.m. Billy Ray is wide awake as he has been most of the night. Support staff has a really bad cold so isn’t coming in today. Forget about a nap. It isn’t going to happen this morning.

We are going to see his “Dr. Brice” to see if Billy Ray has a kidney stone causing his agitation and discomfort.

Since I started this post I talked to the production editor, Erika Spellman, from AMACOM Books. I’m not sure if it is because she is on the Atlantic Coast and I’m on the Pacific Coast so she has been up longer than me or what but she is always perky and positive early in the morning. It helped me get going a bit more this morning. Despite Billy Ray’s interruptions while we were going over editorial changes, she was so patient with me. Thanks, Erika.

Billy Ray is, of course, now asleep. Go figure! I can make a choice to curl my hair before the doctor’s appointment or nap while Billy Ray does.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou
http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthouseparents.com/

Our Sunday..An Exceptionally Pleasant Time.

As I have already shared getting out of the house is not easy. Billy Ray his own agenda. He thinks in sequence not the hands on a clock. If he wants to change clothes four times before he will go out the door or is confused about what is going he may go in a meltdown (everything from bouncing up and down for several minutes or throwing himself on the floor for what seems an eternity). I will surely talk about all of that later and share the things that help and the things that make it worse. For today, I just feel the urge to share our Sunday with you .

It started out with a meltdown (agitation, throwing himself on the floor and throwing other things) after I had Billy Ray ready and was trying to get myself ready. He was watching a movie in the living room. Billy Ray requires pretty much constant supervision so I had my mirror and curling iron at the breakfast bar so I could watch him and still curl my hair. All of a sudden he decided that he wanted to change and got stuck in the process. For the next half hour or so I wondered if we should just forget about today and stay home.

We made it to church. As usual Billy Ray was thrilled to see everyone and they him. We are so lucky to have this wonderful little church who have accepted us and been there for us through several crises in the short time we have been in the area. Billy Ray really enjoys the music. Our former pastor used to say he is the only one who gets to dance in church. It isn't so much a dance as he bounces up and down to the music and claps his hands. Everyone smiles at him and seems to enjoy him. That relaxes me after mornings that start out like this one. After the music he is generally (but not always) calm enough that he can sit through service. It seem to change the day around for us.

Afterwards we went to the home of Doug and Sarah. Doug works with Billy Ray on Saturdays as a support staff. I was a bit hesitant to attend this barbecue given the events earlier in the day. I knew that there were going to be professionals who work with Sarah at the local community clinic there. I wasn't sure how Billy Ray would behave or how we would be accepted.

The weather was just right and one of the Physician Assistants had brought her wonderful Golden Retriever which Billy Ray enjoyed playing fetch with and seem to calm him. We don't take his service dog to dinners since she is a bit a problem around food so it was good to have the retriever there. I think he enjoyed seeing the lab tech that he has become so familiar with and that helped too.

Billy Ray is never able to stay long periods of time at such events but he did pretty well. We left as we realized he was going to escalate. However, as we left I was thinking to myself this has been a good day after all. A pleasant time that doesn't always turn out that way for a complex child and his family. So thanks Billy Ray for allowing us to enjoy it and thanks to Doug and Sarah as well.

Until tomorrow,

Peggy
www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com
www.lighthouseparents.com

Why Blog?

Blogging seems somehow strange to me. The idea that we should share with the world our deepest feelings that used to be locked in journals with keys hidden carefully from our closest family and friends is a bit unnerving.

There are secrets that should be shared and will actually help society as a whole to understand a segment of the population better. This blog is intended to share day-to-day life as the parent of a very complex special needs child.

I recently attempted to explain to my friend why we sometimes made it to church or even the grocery store with my son, Billy Ray, dressed well and freshly shaved, while I might be in jeans with my hair still wet. It occurred to me that it would be very difficult for this lady to understand what our life is like. Sharing through this blog is an attempt to make it easier to understand life with your disabled child or a disabled child you might meet in the community somewhere.

I recently wrote a book, Parenting Your Complex Child (AMACOM Books Spring 2006). By blogging I hope to supplement the information contained in the book with feelings and experiences not shared in my book.

http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthouseparents.com/